{thursday thought}

VIA PINTEREST

{slowing down.}

I've got a little garden growing...reminding me that good things will come to those who wait.

I've got a jar of sourdough starter growing and thriving on our kitchen counter...reminding me that waiting for treasure is way better than instant gratification.

...and both are reminding me....

{50 things. challenge accepted.}

One of my absolute FAVORITE sites/magazines posted this today...and I think it's a lovely little list of reminders. So, I am going to challenge myself to each and every item. Feel free to comment if you accept the challenge!

To spark your own love affair with life again, here are 50 simple ways to welcome joy back in:
1. Have monthly picnics in your favorite park.
2. Bake with the intention of sharing.
3. Swing on a swing set.
4. Write anonymous love letters to those in need with The World Needs More Love Letters.
5. Volunteer reading books to children at your local library.
6. Try a new DIY project like beautiful shebori dying.
7. Send postcards to those you love.
8. Take a Sunday drive with the intention of getting lost.
9. Join a community garden.
10. Trade cookbooks with friends to discover new cuisines.
11. End the day by naming 10 things you’re grateful for.
12. Compliment strangers for the sole reason of making someone else’s day.
13. Say ‘I love you’ and mean it.
14. Devote Saturdays to doing only what you really want.
15. Wear your favorite lipstick and heels to run errands.
16. Get a pedicure.
17. Subscribe to a new magazine.
18. Shop at your farmer’s market as a way to get to know your community.
19. Ride your bike to run errands.
20. Light candles at the breakfast table.
21. Give yourself permission to stay in bed longer than normal.
22. Take a social media fast for two days or more.
23. Sun-brew tea in a windowsill or on a porch.
24. Declutter your space.
25. Wear glitter and sequins often.
26. Search out the perfect lake and rope swing.
27. Make a pot of midday tea.
28. Hang your laundry to dry in the sun.
29. Decide your “someday” is today.
30. Make a running list of fun things to do for each season.
31. Give yourself reasons why you can and will.
32. Snuggle more.
33. Leave inexpensive flowers on someone’s doorstep.
34. Choose faith over fear.
35. Give $5 worth of gold coins to a child.
36. Unabashedly ask for what you want.
37. Each day, use a new word like some from this list.
38. Host a wine party.
39. Have a glass jar full of positive affirmations.
40. Learn how to preserve food.
41. Have s’mores inside around your fireplace.
42. Create a signature perfume for yourself.
43. Make a fort out of sheets just like you did as a child.
44. Stop trying to be someone else’s perfect.
45. Take more baths.
46. Discover new music.
47. Return a favor.
48. Eat healthy foods that make your body scream YES.
49. Invest in yourself.
50. Love genuinely and love often.

{my happy}

when is my soul truly happy?

when i am home with my husband.
when i am lost in a great story, be it book or movie, or even a song.
when i get compliments on something i've made.
when i am with my family.
when i am in the word, and it speaks right to my heart.
when i complete a new challenge, no matter how big or small.
when i am dressed like a lady, and treated as such.
when my home is clean and full of delicious smells.
when a guest feels comfortable, safe and loved in my home.
when my hands have prepared a meal for us.
when i see a beautiful bird or a lovely flower and can stop to appreciate them.
when i am able to bless a loved one...or even a total stranger.

on these things i will focus.
i will stop trying to FIND my happy, or even CHANGE it.
it's already in me. it is enough. i am enough.

{the eve of my 30s}

Today is Sunday.
Not just any Sunday...
...the last Sunday of me as a 20-something.

I look forward to the next decade of my life with (slightly overwhelming) anticipation.
Why shouldn't I?
My twenties brought me the love of my life, a marriage that gets better as the days go by, several new nieces and nephews, new family, new friends, reunions with old friends, clarity, new hobbies, interests, memories, love, LIFE.

They also brought me closer to the woman that I am meant to be.
We haven't been officially introduced yet, but we have some mutual friends and are traveling in the same circle.
I am certain that when we do finally greet each other, she will be absolutely delightful.

{on sundays}

feast for the eyes, the soul and the body.

{It's baby shower day!}

Dino. Mite.

{"just keep living." }

"There are three things that I need each day," he said as he came to the stage after kissing his wife, Camila Alves, and hugging his costar and fellow Oscar winner, Jared Leto. "One of them is something to look up to, another is something to look forward to and another is someone to chase."

McConaughey continued with a heartfelt speech about his faith, family and his motivation to "just keep living."

"I want to thank God because that is who I look up to. He has graced my life with opportunities that I know were not of my hand or any other human hand. He's shown me that it's a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates," he said. 

"To my wife, Camila, and my kids Levi, Vida and Mr. Stone: the courage and significance you give me every day when I go out the door is unparalleled," he continued. "You are the four people in my life I want to make the most proud of me."

And then he thanked himself – in a way.

"To my hero, that's who I chased. When I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come up to me and say, 'Who's your hero? I said, 'I've got to think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.' … I said, 'I thought about it ... It's me in 10 years,' " he said. "So I turned 25, 10 years later – that same person comes up to me and says, 'So are you your hero?' and I'm like, 'Not even close, because my hero is me at 35.' "

Continued McConaughey: "Every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero is always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna attain that. I know I'm not and that's just fine with me, because it keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing."

"So whatever those things are," he said, "whatever is it we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we're chasing, to that I say, 'All right, all right, all right.' To that I say, 'Just keep living.' " 

{The quietest time.}

Hot tea. Cinnamon scented candlelight. The Word.

{gratitude in february}

1. for sharing our stories. and hoping that it helps another.
2. for love. a whole month of it!
3. for morning messages from the Lord.
4. for being able to cheer my favorite when he's down.
5. for warm jackets. and leggings.
6. for thursdays.
7. for friday night bubble baths.
8. for dine-in theaters. with recliners.
9. for clarity. and books that I can't put down.
10. for determination.
11. for clear roads. and safe driving. others aren't so lucky this morning.
12. for precious, tiny 2.5 lb baby Lewis. I adore him already.
13. for waking up to a new day.
14. for a day devoted to love.
15. for hours spent with my husband...even if it's because we are car shopping :/
16. for the smell of clean laundry.
17. for new routines.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23. for minimalism. and less junk.
24. for bosses that respect me enough to ask my opinion.
25.
26.
27.
28.

{sunday thoughts}

via pinterest

{the evolution of me: a teenager}

Adolescents are not monsters.  They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.  ~Virginia Satir, The New Peoplemaking, 1988

In 7th grade, Fall of 1996, my world was once again rocked.
We moved from what I knew as home (Keller) to a town so completely different (Haltom City) that I actually experienced culture shock. Keller was slowly growing from a sleepy little town into  cookie-cutter-houses-slightly-upper-middle-class-suburbia (it would go on to be named "one of the best places to live in America") and HC was...well, full of already-old-lower-middle-class homes and businesses. This was in those fabled days before everyone had the internet and facebook. I wouldn't personally know anyone that had a computer with internet for about 3 more years. We had a phone though, and as best I could, for as long as I could, I stayed connected to my 2 best friends, Shannon and Leesa. Leesa and I grew apart soon after, and Shannon's family was uprooted and moved to Louisiana. I'll admit, I was a terrible penpal. Shannon, if you are reading this, I apologize for not holding up my end of us. I met and made some new friends, sure, and a few have endured to this day, but inside, I was miserable. I felt lost. I felt unnecessary...and combined with a family that I didn't like or understand...well let's just say I was sad. Very sad. I hid it well though. 
One sunny day in May of '97, I sat alone in my room. Per usual, my radio was on and I was sitting crosslegged beside my bed. The family dog snoring somewhere nearby. 
I had a bottle of aspirin next to me and a sharp knife, just in case.
As I mustered up the courage, trying to give myself a sort of suicide peptalk, an unfamiliar tune weaved it's way through my sadness and tears and my hungry heart listened.

"You have so many relationships in this life,

only one or two will last.

You go through all the pain and strife, 

then you turn your back and it's gone so fast."

truth.

"So hold on to the ones who really care,

'cuz in the end, they'll be the only ones there..."

My breath caught, I started shaking. There was a tiny flicker of hope and even happiness in my heart. I had ones that cared. I had aunts and uncles and cousins that I adored. Hell, the love I had from my granny alone would have been enough. I had a baby niece that might need her Aunt Amy some day. So, I latched onto that song. I threw the bottle of pills at my closed bedroom door. I cried. A good, raw cry, the kind that cleanses. The kind that heals. I then carried the pills and knife out to the kitchen. I went back and sat by my radio. waiting and waiting for that beautiful melody to come through the speakers again. Blank tape at the ready, and when it did, I hit record. 

A month or so later, I was spending summer break with my granny in her tiny little trailer on Lake Tawakoni. She didn't have a CD player, but she had a cassette player. So, seeing my love for that song (and probably just wanting hear something ELSE from that old boombox, she took me to walmart and bought me the full album on cassette. If you haven't figured out what the song is- it's "Mmmbop" by Hanson.  You read that right. That "annoying" song from the  summer of '97 is the very thing that saved my life. Scoff if you wish, but it did. 

To say that I wore that cassette out would be an understatement. It was eventually replaced with a CD version and looped 24/7 from my tiny corner of this great big world.

That little song and a love for the band of brothers singing it led to new friendships. It bonded us. We were a sisterhood. Life looked good again.

High school came and went. Laughter was heard, tears were wiped, hearts were broken and mended. Memories were definitely made. 

I met my 2 best girlfriends in the world, Ashlie and Heather within the classrooms and hallways of that school.

On the first day of 9th grade, I walked into my English class rocking some pretty awesome red Doc Martens. As I sat in my seat, the girl next to me exclaimed "Zac Hanson has those! Only in yellow!" I turned with a grin and showed that I was also rocking a Hanson shirt. We would go through the next 4 years so close, that we were often mistaken for sisters. I even introduced her to her husband when we were just 16!

Heather and I didn't really meet or become friends until sophomore year. I like to believe that our friendship is the reason that my family had moved to Haltom City. She only lived a few blocks away and we would walk between our 2 houses daily. Eventually, we would drive. Today, she is my sister. Married to my brother and mother of one of the most perfect little boys to ever grace this earth. She is my soul's true mate.
I met the boy who completely held my heart for 6 whole years...it was completely unrequited love, but eventually we would grow very close. I also met the boy who would eventually introduce me to my husband in that school...driving past Haltom High School still brings such a smile to my soul.  
During the summer  before my senior year (and then a week before my 18th birthday) I lost my grandpas. One's hand I was holding as he took his last breath, surrounded by his loved ones; the other went alone, sitting in his front yard. A perfect illustration of how their lives had been lived. Heather, Becca, Brian, Kevin, Ben, Chris and Jeb...you will never truly know how you all carried me through that heartache, but I say thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love these people and these memories dearly and can not even imagine going through this life without them. 
To think, I could have missed out on some pretty amazing years, and some of the greatest people, had I given in to the sadness of a lonely childhood.

Stay tuned to hear about my roaring 20s.

{the evolution of me: childhood}

What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.  ~Cynthia Ozick

I was born in the Spring of '84. My mother was in her early twenties, my sister was 6 and my brother was barely 2 1/2. Our father was in prison. I found that out when I was a nosy little 10 year old, snooping through a suitcase of old things in my mother's closet. If I've ever been told the reason for his imprisonment, I have forgotten. It's not important to my story anyway.
We were poor, but I didn't notice. We had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I didn't have a nurturing mother, no, she was too busy working nights and providing the necessities for her young family of four. But I had my big sister. She taught me the art of sitting in one spot, tuning out the world and devouring a good book. I'll be forever grateful for that.
When I was in kindergarten, we (with my mom's boyfriend) moved out of the apartment world and into a mobile home park. A real house!
Shortly after the move, I met Shannon. She was a few years older and her brother was my sister's age. I don't remember if we met on our own in the neighborhood or because Ashley and Michael had started dating. We were instant friends. Inseparable for the next 7 years. Together, we were greatness. She showed me that it was okay to be 100% myself. Almost daily, we would carry her boombox out to the drive way and in front of the whole world, we would dance our little hearts out. Olivia Newton-John. Paula Abdul. Janet Jackson. We rescued every stray cat we came across. We watched soap operas that were way beyond our years. We even let ourselves play with dolls and toys. We didn't care one bit what anyone thought of us. We were so cool. She was the first person that I sang with. We spent a huge chunk of our days singing. And we were good. We are still friends to this day.
One stormy night (I don't really remember if it was storming outside, but man was there one brewing in my little 9 year old world), my mother broke her boyfriend's heart. And that broke mine. After 4 years, I thought of him as "dad". She told him that she didn't love him, that there was someone else and that we were going to live with him instead. My brother took a weekend fishing trip with him, but other than that, he disappeared from our lives. I hated my mother for that. I hated her for many years.
All of a sudden, I was forced to live with a man that I didn't know, who wasn't nice and who had 3 bratty kids of his own. They were jerks. 2 boys and 1 girl. I wasn't the baby anymore, I was the 5th of 6. If I wasn't at school or with Shannon, I was in my room. Reading, snuggling with my Rusty Cat, living in my own little world. I dreamed of my real dad. What he looked like (which according to my uncle, was exactly like me, and that's why mom didn't love me like she should have), where he lived, did he ever think of me... if he had another family...if he was even still alive. My brother and sister had some memory of him, but I had nothing.
My childhood wasn't sad though. I had Shannon. I had friends. I had aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents that loved me. I had my books and my cat. I had an absolutely perfect first kiss and my first real love when I was only 10 years old. 2 different boys, 2 beautiful souls, both with equal share of my innocent little heart.

{Because, sometimes...}

Thank you, Icepocalypse 2013.

{Because, sometimes...}

An emergency trip to Target (for warm boots) is necessary. Never wear flats when an ice storm is predicted.

{Because, sometimes...}

Even the office fruit basket should look like Christmas ;)

{Because, sometimes...}

You need a little boost in your chai.

{Because, sometimes...}

You just can't wait for your Christmas stocking.

{Because, sometimes...}

You come home from a particularly irritating work week and find that one of your precious pups has pood in the crate that she shares with her sister.