{where i'm at...}

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....just some thoughts I'm thinking. 
....maybe it's a mid-life crisis.
....maybe my soul is just ready to grow.

{God's not dead.}

click here to watch the trailer.

I am so very glad that I got to see this last night.
Seriously.
My heart wouldn't be where it is today if I hadn't.

It made me laugh. It made me cry.  It gave me goosebumps...more than once.
Mostly, though...it simply made me think.
I know that it is a fictional story, but it was written based on real events happening in our nations schools.

this truth breaks my heart.

I want to believe that if I am ever challenged as Josh is, I won't back down. I will share my faith in the Lord with as much conviction as he does. With so much passion, and determination and strength.

As deeply as the film touched me, it was what happened while the credits rolled and the theater emptied that has inspired me. Shaken me to my core.

We were on the very top row of an almost-sold-out showing and as we were gathering our things, I glanced past my friends and saw a girl, in her late teens, maybe early twenties, barefoot, on her knees and with her hands outstretched in prayer. 

I'm not usually one to approach a stranger, especially when they are right smack in the middle of a very personal moment...but I was pulled to her. 

I knelt beside her and without a word, put my arm around her shoulders. Startled, she opened her eyes and looked over at me. Without even asking who I was or what I was doing, she wrapped her own arm around my back and simply explained that she wanted to thank the Lord for His anointing on that film.For it's message and for it's truth.

We knelt like that for a few minutes while she prayed aloud to Jesus.

We said "amen" and gave eachother a gentle squeeze. I whispered for her to have a good night and stood to rejoin my friends (who were patiently waiting for me at the end of our row.)

I never got her name, but my soul got so much more. 

Everyday of my life, I will aspire to live with her amazing, unabashed, simply beautiful love for my Lord and Savior.

God is alive.

{30.}

• more music
• more dancing
• more art. period.
• more coffee sipping
• more herbal tea
• more laughter
• more love
• more flowers
• more star gazing
• more delicious foods
• more reading
• more writing
• more foreign films
• more confidence
• more gratitude
• more of a servant's heart
• more listening
• more seeing
• more faith
• more travel
• more passion
• more compassion
• more dreaming
• more doing
• more romance
• more living
• more moments
• less gossip
• less envy
• less taking this life for granted.

{for Lent}

I am not Catholic, but I do like to participate in the "giving something up during Lent" tradition.
 This year's goal: to give up bad-for-me foods and to choose productivity and growing over being lazy and stagnant.

Day 1 (yesterday): had bad salmon for lunch and ended up leaving work a couple hours early and staying home today, miserable with food poisoning. C'est la vie.
Once I managed to keep some plain jane, oven baked fries down, I started a pot of (fresh, from scratch) beef stew and got part of the pantry cleaned up...that's about as productive as I'm gonna be today, and I'm okay with that.

Last year's goal wasn't to give something up though, instead it was to spend those 40 days reading through the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I succeeded and then went on to read through the rest of the New Testament.
I recently started reading through the Old Testament, picking up where I had left off a few years before, with the Book of  Ezra. I am now on the last chapter of  Nehemiah.
I sat down this afternoon with my planner and mapped out how long it will take me to read through the rest of the Old Testament, averaging about 10 chapters a day. I should finish on Easter Sunday! I think that's a pretty cool coincidence.

Here's to goals that grow us and teach us and make us better than we were yesterday.

{a journey to minimal: the numbers.}

So far, the great purge of 2014 is seeing some good numbers. For example:
4 (not an exact number as I took a few to goodwill a while back): hefty bags of clothes and linens
5 bankers boxes full of books and magazines
10 purses/bags
a few: trash bags, thrown (happily) into the can.
1 32-piece set of dinnerware
3 boxes of various decor items/ holiday stuff/ unused, randomness


...I will keep updating this as we go!

{a new day. a new routine.}

It's been said that doing something the same way, at least 7 times, will form a new habit.
There are 7 days in a week... I'm thinking that that is not a coincidence...
Yesterday, I spent the day washing, drying and folding the piles of laundry that can usually be found all over the house. As I folded/hung up each item I considered it carefully before keeping it or adding it to the big, black hefty bag that will make it's way to Goodwill when it's full. If you've read my recent post about embracing a more minimalist lifestyle, then you know that our first step towards that peaceful life is our wardrobe.
We both have jobs that provide us with "uniforms" (David gets full outfits of shirts, shorts and pants that he HAS to wear and I have 6 shirts that I CAN wear, if and when I want to...5 polos w/ company logos and a t-shirt).
I have decided that it is in my best (minimal) interest to put these shirts to good use and wear them daily. Not only will I be better representing my employer, but it will also save me from worrying about what to wear for at least 250 days of the year! Paired with shorts, jeans, capris or even skirts and I'm done.
As for the Mister...I will get back into my newlywed habit of laying his uniforms out for him each night. It's the least I can do. He gets up so early and works so hard all day. I honestly don't know why I ever stopped blessing him with that routine.
So here's how my daily routine has been for far too long:
Wake up at the last minute, wash hair as quickly as possible (without actually bathing myself), throw on some clothes (hoping that I look presentable), rush out the door without eating anything, drive 30 minutes to work (stopping for fruit for the lobby basket and a frozen breakfast bowl), get to work later than I would like, drink coffee, eat "breakfast" and do my job, all at the same time (while still feeling rushed and irritable). Go through my day, ready to be back at home where I can plant myself on the sofa and be as lazy as possible. Head home, usually cruising through a drive-thru for "dinner" and then spending the rest of the evening on the couch in front of the television, making a half-hearted attempt at conversation with my husband, while snapping at the dogs for being annoying (when really, they are just so happy to have us home). The weekends are spent cleaning up our laziness from the week before, or sleeping to avoid it all...usually stuck in the house, never getting out and enjoying ourselves and the world around us.

And here is the new plan:
Wake up the FIRST time that the alarm sounds, enjoy a simple breakfast with coffee or hot tea, have some quiet time with the Lord, dress simply and easily, drive straight to work (without rushing or stopping!), have extra time to get the morning reports done, spend the rest of the day doing what I do and mentally keep myself as relaxed as possible (which really isn't hard since I'm a very laid back, go with the flow type lady), stop at the store for any dinner ingredients we might need, and grab the lobby fruit- if I wasn't able to do so on my lunch break, get home, prepare and completely enjoy dinner, spend quality time together and with our sweet pups, clean up after ourselves, shower and prepare for tomorrow. Do things immediately and efficiently and with purpose. Make the most of the day we have been given, not relying on a second chance to get it right.

Morning #1 is in the books. Let's see how it blesses the rest of my day.

How can you rearrange your routine for maximum bliss?

{less will be more.}

I spent the weekend  reading everything that remains by Joshua and Ryan. AKA the Minimalists.

Wow.

For the past several months, I've tried planning home decor projects, cooking projects, reading projects...I've planned a whole new (bigger, better) wardrobe for myself...I've thought about our plan to buy a bigger house and fill it with lovely things...

But...I haven't had much follow through. I didn't understand why though. I mean, I've always been good at shopping and spending money (even when there wasn't any to spend) and filling our home with...stuff. Meaningful or not. Mostly, not.

This past week, I stopped with all the daydreaming/mental money wasting and started really listening to my soul.
It wants less.
It wants calm.
It wants me to see that what we have is so much more than enough.

Yes, we want a larger house...but to fill it with family and laughter and memories. Not...stuff.

I counted the hangers on my rack in the closet...only my rack...not David's and not all the extras in the laundry room...about 140. Seriously.
I am not any kind of fashionista. I wear the same few things over and over.
Why in the hell do I have 140 things hanging in my closet and still more clothes in piles around the house?!
"Just in case" mostly.
I'm so done with that!
I'm cleaning out my closet. Literally.
There will be absolutely no more than 40 hangers on my closet rack at one time...and my side of the dresser will actually be used.

This is just the first step.
The Martins are going minimal.

No more of this:

so much, packed so tight. overflowing.

{simplify.}

When did everything become so completely over-processed? So cold, so mass-produced?
Most store bought items are wrapped in several layers of plastic packaging.
Popular music spends hours or even days being "edited" on computers, the end result being catchy but without true heart and raw emotion.
Every photograph in every magazine is subjected to so much photoshop that the final image looks nothing like the beginning.
Even things that should be simple are complicated.
Clothes. Food. Beauty products.


My New Year's Resolution: strip away all of the plastic and chemicals and excessive...mess. All of the overwhelming colors and sounds.  Live more natural, simplified. Be conscious of what I am using and throwing out. What I am feeding myself. What I am reading, watching and listening to.

I want to end 2014 having embraced all of my 5 senses.

For my ears to be delighted by the sounds of nature and...life
For my tastebuds to be awakened by the flavors of the world.
For my body to know the softness of well-loved flannel, the warmth of real wool, the coolness of cotton.
For my nose to smell the natural perfumes of the earth.
For my eyes to see the wonder and beauty all around me.

{soul searching...}

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light... Psalm 37:4-6

Holy epiphany, Batman!
I'm sure that I've written before of my desire to know God's plan for me...and if you've read that post or heard me wonder aloud about it in real life, disregard everything I have said up until this moment. You see, I was on the right track, but I was oh so wrong. It's not about what I feel I've been denied.
You know how when you are a child and someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up? The answers always seemed to change from week to week, right? Mine didn't. I mean yeah the first answer that I can remember giving was "marine biologist" even before I really knew what that was... Hello, have you seen Free Willy? Have you watched fish swim around aquariums, dazed by their awesomness? I also remember saying "singer" (I went on to sing in choirs for my entire school-life), "teacher" (I went on to spend 6 years teaching at a preschool), "housewife" (I got married in 2006). It's that last one that truly got me excited. It seemed to light a fire deep in my gut. To have a family, and spend my days caring for them and loving them and puttering around my home....that would be bliss. Maybe it's because I never knew my biological father and we moved around a lot and then getting thrown into a mixed family with step-people... my heart yearned for the day when I would be in charge. Even as a child.
I've always been one for simple pleasures. Give me a comfy chair with a good book, a quiet stroll through the park on a sunny day, a pretty skirt or dress that makes me feel like a lady...a marriage full of love and laughter. A child to call me "mom".
Yet, somewhere along the way, I lost all that. I stopped paying attention to what makes my heart overflow with bliss and what kindles that little flame deep inside my gut. I've gotten lost in the grind of work and bills and trying to keep up with the Joneses. (And by Joneses I mean all of my facebook friends filling my wall with photos and cute quips of their adorable little ones.)
And then I started what I call The Proper Lady Project. And, I've started to find myself again.
I'm seeing our modest little house in a whole new light. I'm actually enjoying (and feeling a little excited!) doing the housework that I have been known to let pile up. I'm finally feeling comfortable in my skin when I'm dressed more ladylike and feminine (hello skirts and shoes and accessories!) I'm looking at my husband with a whole new love.You can call me old-fashioned, and maybe even boring or weird... and that's okay, it's a compliment really.
So what if I don't hear a little voice calling me "mom", that'll will happen one day, or maybe it won't...and I truly believe I'll be okay with that. It doesn't mean that I can't take care of myself and my husband and our home with the same dedication and effort that I would give if there were a child involved. It doesn't mean that I have to let work and bills and the Joneses determine what truly makes my light shine.
God has repeatedly shown me the desires of my heart, and I am not going to let Him down again.

{Becoming a Proper Lady.}

  

Recent pop culture events (ie: Miley at the VMAs...reality t.v...countless other "celebrity" antics) have left me scratching my head. 

What has happened to our society? I mean seriously. I don't know about you, but I've had enough. I may not be a mother but I am an Aunt and knowing that this is what my nieces are growing up with...it makes my stomach turn. 

I'm not saying that I am the perfect example of a proper lady, but I damn sure try. I want to give these girls someone to look up to. I want to live a life to be proud of.

{"...where were you?"}

I was a senior in high school. After 1st period, I was walking through the halls and caught bits and pieces of conversations...something was happening. 
 I got settled at my desk for 2nd period English Lit. and that's when I found out. 
My friend, Brian, sat down at his desk next to me and asked "...did you hear? Isn't that crazy?"..."What?" I replied. He then told me that an airplane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings in New York. 
I remember feeling sad, and praying for everyone involved. 
The bell rang, class began. Only...it didn't. 
Brian, J.R. and Clay had managed to get the old tv plugged in and the antenna to pick up the news channels. We sat in shocked silence, watched as the second tower was hit. 
We lost our childhood that morning. 
The world we knew before second period would never be the same.